Found Love Letters

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Eddie Loves Vickie
This one was sent to me by Ron Grandia. (Thanks, Ron.) He found it in a "Let's Speak French" record he got in a thrift store. There are two pictures and two letters, one from Vickie to Eddie at the beginning of their relationship, and one from Eddie to Vickie at what seems like the bitter end of the relationship.
4-29-64
Dear Eddie, What can I say about the fun we've had (sometimes you probably wondered if it was fun!) except- forget it! (Ha!) (Look, I was only kidding!) I doubt that either of us will ever forget it. Here's hoping there is more of good times in the future. It doesn't really matter rather good times or bad times, as long as I can spend them with you.
Vickie
Then, from Eddie, scrawled on a ripped out steno page:
Good by Vicki
It has been a wonderful time being with you and I hope you find what you are looking for. May God bless you. I will always love you.
Truly yours, Eddie

Me and Greggy Megee

Mrs. Antonio Banderas. Señor y Señora Antonio Banderas. Kitty Banderas. Dr. and Mrs. Antonio Banderas. Kitty Banderas, wife of Antonio Banderas.
Oh, excuse me. I found this one on the street. It's on the back of a geometry test.

Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. & Mrs. Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mrs Kimberly Ann Megee. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Mr. Greg Megee. Greg Megee. Kim. Kimberly. Greg Megee. Greg Megee. Greg Megee. Love Always. Super Fresh. Super Fresh. Super Fresh. Super Fresh. Look at us.

Hang in There, Kitty

This is a torn remnant of a "Hang In There, Kitty" greeting card. On the picture side, the writer wrote "Me catch you cutestuff!", whatever that means.

(part 1, torn along left side and bottom)
I love you. Second of
sad that you're
feel better if
help you to
I can (HI!)
I'm sorry
terday. This
awkward

(part 2, torn along right side and bottom)
at this time. I can't
night. It'll be gr
Lastly, I just
loving me. I
hard, and the
but we can
time, I'm so
I hop
I said, "hi

Love Poem

This is a torn up letter, found on the street. It reads like poetry. OK, bad poetry. Maybe I'll send it in to the New Yorker.

(part 1, torn along right, top and bottom)
will feel so good
touched by one
had other plans
be honest and
you here with
belong being lov
thing to make y
your

(part 2, torn along right, top and bottom)
stay here and have
ship of your life with
to let you go becaus
will be back and
what kind of relation
continue to stay hones
can be friends foreve
life but

(part 3, torn along right, top and bottom)
tell you one th
is to regret no
I must love
i think our
is happening
Jim
see you again

Yeah, Sure

This one and the next one was found by my friend Ratface. Both pieces are on loan from the Ratface Archives. A note to teenage girls: If a boy ever sends you a letter like this, it's a really good time to present him with your list of demands. Do not delay! Go through his CD collection! Go through his comics! Take a shirt or two. Pick out what you want -- he's ready to give you anything.

2-26-91
To My Beloved Kristi,
Hello, How was your day so far? Mine has been pretty good. I really want to thank you for yesterday. You are always making me feel so good. When I start thinking about it, I end up getting mad at myself, cause there are a lot of times when you say no, and I get so persistant, and you end up giving in to me. I want you to know that I will never get mad at you for saying "no" to me. I respect your wants + your needs, so if you say no, from now on I will just back off + try to cool myself down. When I read your journal yesterday, I read something that made me think. You said that you are so scared about getting pregnant, and then you said that your body always says "yes", but your mind says "no". If your that worried about it than I think we should wait until both say "yes". I don't want to pressure you any more O.K.? I will love you always.
I will never love any other woman
Mike R-----

Document of Love

Apparently, Kristi needed just a little more proof of Mike's love. She made him sign and fingerprint a document binding them by love for life. What sort of idiot would sign such a -- wait a minute, it looks a lot like my marriage certificate! I must say, the fingerprints are an inspired touch. Book 'em, Kristi!

Document of Love
I vow on my honor to love my only true love
(signature) Michael John R-----
forever and ever as long as we both shall
live. I believe I will love no other
and I will stand by my true love when
ever they need me. I will always be
truthful and honest to my dearest.
True Lover (signature) Kristina Ann W----- (fingerprint)
True Lovee (signature) Michael J. R----- (fingerprint)
Date March 6, 1991

Testify For Me

This one was a xerox when it was found on the street. I'm assuming it fell out of an attorney's folder. It's from a man trying to convince his ex- girlfriend to testify for him at a murder trial.

And I will take care of you and you're little son because you know I have never lied before to you. I told Jermeal that wen we were locked up over at D.C. Maria I care about you a lot. Someday I will show you what I mean ok. You looked out for me now I am going to look out for you. Believe that. Maria they put another murder on me when I was living with yall this happen during holloween. I was their with you and the family and keds. I need you to testify for me. Because I was not their remember. I will never lie I will take care of you and you're son believe me.

More Romance

Now that we've reached a more serious stage in our relationship, you've got to read Grouchyguy's hilarious story Wedding Bell Blues. It's guaranteed to make you run screaming from the altar.