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Hi Latrice!

I'm back. Its now Tues nite + Im in Psychology class. We just had a test + I fuckin aced it! And I only looked at the shit for 20 min on break today at work!! Yea! Things are going too good right now!! Jeff stayed over fri nite again God. I like him so much! Sat we pretended we were mannequinns at work again, it was so fun. So I had everybody over my house after + we got drunk + I scooped this guy Vinnie from work! Ive been wanting to cuz he's gorgeous, Italian, sexy - great body - works out every day at the "Body Exchange", but not the kind of guy that I'm into thats into progressive music (although he does like some). He's the kind of guy you'd be in love w/ in high school - total hunk + athlete. But he knows he's gorgeous + is a total womanizer + is into kinky sex - but not really kinky. Anyway -- HE scooped ME + was really getting into it but I told him no + he kept saying how no one has ever "responded" to him like me + how intense I was + doing all the right things (I am getting into weird shit - so fun!!) + kept saying I was terrible -- I was really getting him going -- haha! But alls I kept thinking of was Jeff + I couldn't believe that becuz I was w/ this awesome guy -- God, I really must love Jeff. So Vinnie left at 2 am + Jeff got off work + called + came over at 2:30 am + walked in my room, saw my handcuffs on my desk (I don't really use them -- Vinnie was playing w / them) + he goes "What are your handcuffs doing out?" + then asked me who was drinking Sambuca + I said my friend Vinnie from work + the bottle was also on my desk -- but he didn't really say anything. Then Sun. nitE I made him dinner w/candelite + wine (chicken parm., tortellini, garlic bread, + chocolate mousse w/ strawberries). So he stayed over + mon. we hung out + fed each other -- I threw whipped cream at him + it got all over his face so I ate it off. God Latrice, I've never been able to be like this with anyone, I cant believe it. Its just so natural. We were lying in bed + he fell asleep cuz we were just lying there + he was still half asleep + just sat up, hugged me really tight + started kissing me again, it was so cute -- it was like the 1st thing he did. And a few times under his breath he's said I love you -- I'm like, what the fuck!??! And Mon. he vaccumed the entire house + cleaned without me even asking him or anything, [now we're talking -- Kitty] he just went ahead + I kept telling him not to. I couldn't believe it!! (My parents were coming home that nite). So he left + I got my parents at 8pm + at 10:00 pm

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Tony called me so I went over there + he cut my hair + we got stoned + drank wine, then scooped. Again, all I could think about was Jeff. I was always so self-conscious w/ him (Tony) but I'm over that now, probably cuz of Jeff. God, I cant believe Im feeling like this, I never thought it would happen to me, I cant understand it + am afraid its gonna all of a sudden end + I'll get really hurt. thats kind of keeping me from being totally open or being cautious about my emotions. I still find it hard to want to let someone get really close to me, or me get so close to someone else. Its really scary. But anyway, in 3 days, 3 different guys have told me that I've "scratched the shit out of" their backs! Ha ha! At work today Vinnie was kinda yelling at me + showed me his back + its all scratched up + in front of Jimmy + my boss he said something about me getting blood on his favorite shirt + I just dropped my mouth + paled + almost died cuz they all just looked at me. Great. Oh well, hi, after school Jeff came over + met Mom + Dad. Then he took me to Axis + Tim was there so we were w/ him + I wouldnt dance w/ Jeff + was talking to Tim most of the time. + Tim was saying how uncomfortable he felt because of Jeff + whats going on w/ us + is Jeff getting jealous + how he thinks Jeff "really likes" me + shit. It was strange. So then I was dancing w/ Tim, how fucking mean can I be to Jeff, I just couldnt help myself, I knew I was being a bitch + I really like Jeff but he looked so cool + dances like I've never seen anyone dance before -- Jeff blows everyone off the dance floor + I feel like a jerk dancing w/ him. But he was so good about everything, he'd keep dancing, getting me drinks, + standing w/ me + Tim -- I couldnt believe it, I'd be bullshit if he did that to me. (And a few days ago he kinda said something about jealousy + about Tim.) So Tim walked us to Jeffs car + Jeff was so cute, he just shook Tim's hand (they get along great too) + then walked away + sat on the hood of the car + waited for Tim + I to talk + say goodbye (we didnt scoop or anything -- I wouldnt be that mean.) But in the club Jeff would come over + grab me + stuff + one time yells "God I LOVE you! I was like "WHAT?" I cant believe how such a gorgeous cool guy could feel anything for me. I felt like I really was a shithead last nite, but I felt so inferior to Jeff all of a sudden -- everyone knows him, he looks cool -- I didnt -- he dances incredibly, shit. I dunno I'm really scared. I dont want to blow this.

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Hi! The soap opera continues... Im sorry -- I just feel like you are the closest to me + I want to tell you everything + how I feel Its mon. nite now. Fri. I went to Man Ray + my sisters x-boyfriend was there + kept trying to kiss me, I was upset. Then at Ground Zero Tim + his brother was there + I kissed Tim + we were dancing + Jeff came up to us. So then Jeff + I were driving home + he was driving behind me + I was drunk + all of a sudden slammed on my brakes (I dont remember why) + I hear a screech behind me, then another one, + SMASH -- the guy behing Jeff plowed into him + knocked him into me -- I felt so bad, my car was fine, but the guy behind Jeff -- his front end was smashed. The guy said to Jeff "it wasnt your fault, it was the guy (me) in front of you" He didn't know it was me thank God! I cant believe that happened. So then we parked down the street from my house @ this school yard + were in my car + it was 5 am + this cop boots in + right up to my car w/ his highbeams + spotlite on us + yells "DONT YOU THINK ITS A LITTLE LATE??!!" I was so embarrassed. Then Sat. Tim, his brother, + I were planning to go to New York for the weekend (Jeff wasnt too thrilled) but the flights were all booked up so we drove around town w/ Tim's convertible top down (brand new red Chrysler LeBaron) w/ the tunes cranking in 30 degree weather; it was so fun. Then we went to the top of one of the skyscrapers + it was snowing. Then Tim took us out to dinner + drinks, then we went to Ground Zero + he kept buying drinks so I (we ALL were) was shitfaced. I was all over Tim too + wanted to leave before Jeff got there but we didnt + Jeff was like "Are you OK -- whats wrong with you?" And Tim + I were horsing around on the dancefloor + we both fell, him on top of me, we were so drunk. Then Jeff walked away + Tim + I + his brother left + went to Club M + (I didnt even say goodbye or where I was going to Jeff) + then to Tims apt. (I stayed there cuz I had an overnite bag cuz we were going to NY) + I dont remember what happened there -- I vaguely remember trying to get my pants off that I had on under my dress + they got caught in my boots + I had my pants down + Tim was trying to help me -- Christ -- how embarrassing! So the next day we went to brunch, then to a bunch of stores + stuff + played around in Harvard Yard + taking pictures + it was snowing like mad but we had a blast. Then I got home at 8 pm Sun nite + Jeff called + came over + asked if Tim brought me home the other nite + I said -- no I slept over. Haha! Then Mon (today) I took the day off + Jeff + I took Tim's brother Greg to lunch + in town + to the aquarium, then Jeff took me to a really nice restaurant for dinner. I cant believe I could have so much fun! Then Tues I went to Axis to meet Jeff + also Tim + Greg + Tim was acting weird to me. Then wed. I took my friend Jim Burgess from work to Man Ray + Ground Zero + met Tim + Greg + then went to pizza down the street from Man Ray + so I went + got Jeff so we were all in the pizza place @ 2:30 am + I was so drunk + had Jeff drive me home. Thurs nite I had a midterm that I never even studied for so I blew off my test + classes + parked my car + slept for a couple of hours cuz I havent been sleeping -- Ive been partying until 3-4 + getting up for work at 6:30. Fri nite Mary + I went to Ground Zero and Tim + Greg were there + Tim was w/ this tall, skinny cute

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girl + he wouldnt even look @ me or say hi, I was so pissed. So I hung out w/ his brother Greg who is such a doll, then Jeff came + talked to Tim + Jeff says to me, "Oh -- doesnt Tim + that girl make such a cute couple?!" I had to admit that they did but I was like FUCK YOU! Then I was driving home like we usually do + Jeff was ahead of me in the left lane + it was a red light + I didnt stop in time + bumpt right into this gorgeous whit Cadillac in front of me that had a wheel cover on the trunk! this big guy (A FUCKING COP NO LESS) jumps out + yells "LICENSE + REGISTRATION!" to me + I had bottles all in the car + we pulled over (Jeff meanwhile didnt know I hit the guy but saw the guy get out + come over to my car but he had to turn left on green + by the time he was able to loop back we had pulled out of the intersection over to a gas station). So it took a while to exchange info, I was so scared, he could have really busted me. so then I dropped mary off @ her car + drove home figuring I'd see Jeff's car @ my house, hoping that he cared enough to wonder what happened to me, but he wasnt so I was ready to cry, thinking I'd lost Tim to this pretty girl, Jeff didnt care about me, I hit a cop + how was I gonna tell my parents... etc. So I walk in the house, its now after 4am + I hear my Dad's voice "GET UPSTAIRS + GO TO BED!! There's been a car driving by here + stopping for the past hour! Who is it?" So I said "Jeff" + he was like "Why is he coming around at this time?!" And then Jeff pulled up outside + my dad wouldnt let me go outside to tell him I was OK. (I didnt tell my dad about hitting the cop) So my Dad went outside + was all pissed. Then Sat. the cop called me + said that the repair shop just banged the wheel out + not to fill a report + everything was OK so I was SO relieved! So I stayed in Sat. nite + went to mass w/ Mom + Dad + thanked God for always getting me out of tough situations. Then Sun. nite Jeff took me out for a couple of drinks, then we went to the beach + chased each other + then lied on the sand, it was like 25 degrees but I wasnt cold!!! Hi. I saw Jeff Sat. nite @ Ground Zero but I left with Tim. I can't help it L, I dont know why I'm so mean sometimes. The next day he just acted like everything was fine + I went over there + we had a good time + stuff. I just dont know why he shows any interest in me at all. Oh well. I really like him so much though. Well. Hope you Wow, what was I gonna write? Do you realize that I started writing this letter in the beginning of February and its now the middle of April? That is disgusting! Im so sorry. I think of you all the time + whenever

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something happens that I want to share with you I write it down like we are having a conversation, but I just never get around to sending it!! Im sorry! I got your card -- thank you -- its something I should send!!! Anyway, things are better than ever with Jeff, although Mom + Dad arent too pleased because I've been staying out some weekday nites thill 3 + 4 am (work @ 8am) + on weekends till 6 am. The other nite Tim + I were talking @ Ground Zero + he goes "All I want is sex" so I go "Well-- LETS GO!" + I grabbed him + ripped the buttons off his jacket. Can you believe it? I felt like such a jerk. So I took them home + sewed them on so the other nite he bought me lots of drinks for sewing them. I guess he's going to NY for some modelling thing. God, I talk about all of these people, I really wish you could meet them, I feel like you already know them though. On Tues nites we all go to Axis, so this past Tues I told Jeff that I was going w/ Vinnie from work + his friend + that I'd meet them there, so I ended up getting totally shitfaced so the bouncer was like "Look at you -- you cant even stand up!!" and they wouldnt let me in, I was falling all over the place. Jeff came so I went with him to some other club + I guess I got lost going to the bathroom so he had to come find me. I dont remember much about the rest of the night only that I got in after 4am and was still shitfaced at 7 am whin I got up for work. Anyway. Well.. Guess what? I finally slept with Jeff! Sat nite I met my sister + this guy. She was w/ at Man Ray + Ground Zero so she said that Jeff + I could go back to her apartment + she'd stay over this guy's place -- so thats what we did. She has a king size water bed too!! AAAGGGHH!!! Then we were on the floor too. God, there are so many places I want to do it with him, the car, the beach, stairs, a school field -- GOD-- ANYWHERE! I cant believe Im falling like this. I never thought I could. I was always so scared + self conscious + figured I wouldnt know what to do. God this is weird. God I think I love him. But that sucks because he's all I think about all day. Is that how you felt? But I still cant help flirting with other guys, I better watch it. Im so afraid things will end with Jeff, I dont want this feeling to end, I tink I'd die. Oh well! So, school is almost over! I have to still go in the summer, great huh, plus work full time. I'll never be finished. I know you'll graduate before me. How did you do this semester? Good probably! You dont have much longer. God I miss you, its getting tough having to write all of my feelings + stuff instead of our deep convo's at Jester!! three drawn hearts
PLEASE TAKE CARE + WRITE SOON -- I WANT A NOVEL FROM YOU! I LOVE + MISS YOU!!!
Love Always, Eileen
Drawn smiley face. Of course.